my dearest yo
there’s a lot i can say in this letter, so think of this as my reply to yours. i’m not one to write out my feelings out.. so please bare with me. also, i’ve inserted our baby pictures just for memories. did you know i always kept them up to this very day? your baby pictures, i’ve always had them with me and i never dared to lose it. if i did, i would always go around places here and there for hours and hours until i was able to find it. it was for remembrance and whenever i was lonely, i would always look at your pictures.. i kept wondering if you still existed, if you were safe, if you were happy, if you ate three meals a day, etc. i’m glad to know that you’re living happily now.
remember that day when i was kidnapped? you were most likely wondering what happened and where your precious hyunnie was. there’s a lot i can tell you, honestly. i’m speaking from my heart but for your own safety, as much as i’d like to tell you, i’m sure you can figure it out on your own. it’s not that i don’t trust you, but i just don’t want people hurting you.. my kind, mutants. it’s a dangerous world out there, but i will always do anything in mind willpower to protect you, even if it means to go as sacrificing my own life or well-being, because i love you.
up until very day, you’re my first kiss and my first boyfriend, my first love. i hope you don’t take that for granted. i’m very childish, insecure, bipolar, temperamental, and i have many flaws — please bare with me, i’m still.. naive when it comes to things like this. i’m not an expert, i’m slow and i really have no ideal type, aside from gogumas. i’ve always been book smart and never have i experienced love before. i don’t guarantee you a perfect relationship, i may not know what to do in the near future when we argue, when i get jealous, etc. but, the thought of it hurts me. my dearest yong, i really don’t want to lose you again and i don’t want another girl to take my place, there’s no one in this world that can love you as much as i can. i hope you know that.
isn’t it funny? how this little girl who used to be your dongsaeng turned into your girlfriend now? haha. i’m so sorry that i’m corny, i’m not usually like this. there’s no other way to express my corn— i mean, my feelings for you. e u e;;
truth to be told, i really appreciate it how you’re letting me live with you as of now. even if i hate talking about my past or my sob story, i grew up as an orphan. did you know that? i had no family ever. family is a sensitive topic to me. i look at other kids who have both a mother and a father, biological too — though, regardless, doesn’t matter if it’s biological or not, and i’m thinking.. wow, these kids are lucky they have parents who can support, guide, care, and love for them. kids nowadays, take their parents for granted and they don’t know what they’ve got until it’s gone. i learned this, the hard way. especially if they have siblings, they’re lucky that they have siblings and it’s hard when you had a twin sister whom you were separated from at birth and you never saw her. my past changed me, it’s shaped me — into this monster and i suffer from paranoia and i’m a masochist. it’s hard living under a facade. don’t get me wrong; i know i may seem cold to you from time to time, but.. that’s just my facade. i hope you know, that’s not who i really am.. i’m afraid, oppa. i trust you more than i trust myself, so i hope you can protect me just like old times — i need you, really.
anyways, back to my point.. don’t think of yourself as a useless human, you’re not. you help people, you’re a doctor. you worked hard to get to where you are today and i’m sure you’re content with that. you don’t take the easy road and say “oh hey, i got badass powers, why not heal people?” in a way, that’s a cheat sheet, but, you’re worth it more than you think. i promise you that, just believe in me.
since we’re official now, i hope no bitch is gonna ever take you away from me. otherwise, i’ll fucking disperse her molecules along with yours. yes, you’re included because you decided to flirt with other women. so haha, in your face. my yong has to suffer the consequences too.
oh and remember how you were the one that taught me how to play guitar? i still play it, i have a guitar and whenever i play it, i can’t help but think about you. i started writing songs and singing because of you. i even learned how to play piano — after all, you’re a musician and you inspired me. you were a little boy who wanted to become a musician and look how far you got now, you’re amazing.
anyways, i can keep rambling on but that would be forever and i’m sure you’d get bored of this sappy letter i wrote. so, i’ll end it here.
jung joohyun — i mean..
your one and only girlfriend, hyunnie.
ps: you need to man up and stop digging into chick flicks. feels like i’m the man in this relationship sometimes, loljk. kekekeke. oh, if you’re not a virgin.. you might as well cut off that so called “man pride” of yours.. B| i am judging you, jung yonghwa.